How to Win Friends and Influence People (As a Blogger)

First published more than 70 years ago, Dale Carnegie’s guide on people skills entitled “How to Win Friends and Influence People” contains wisdom that is mostly true to this very day, because human nature, for better or worse, does not change much over time.

And even in this brave new world of the Internet and social media, we can still look to age-old truths in deciphering a code to grow an audience (win friends) and successfully engage readers via our blogs (influence people).

Here are eight of these truths …

1. No click-bait headlines

Carnegie’s guide puts a lot of emphasis on recognizing the importance of others.

And it’s easiest to forget this in this online environment and treat our readers as simple statistics. Numbers, nothing more.

A sure way to get people to click on your post is to use a sensational headline that fails to deliver on its promise.

If you value your audience, you will not only deliver, but over-deliver.

Avoid the annoying practice of publishing misleading headlines, which we’ve all been fooled by — or it will appear that your guide is called “How to Lose Friends and Alienate People.”

2. Give proper credit

In his book, Mr. Carnegie tells us the following:

“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

It’s nice to give a shout-out to the blogger who inspired you to write a certain post, or tell a story. It’s not only a proper thing to do, but it’s also a way to earn their respect.

3. Make your readers smile

Another gem from the pen of Mr. Carnegie is:

“Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it.”

We live in some cynical times, true. But maybe this is why now, more than ever, you need to find a way to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and make your readers see it too.

Share content that is uplifting, motivational, offer hope to those who have lost it long ago, or simple make your readers smile.

4. Have a heart

Mr. Carnegie wrote:“Three-fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you.”

By writing with respect and sympathy about issues that impact your audience, you can gain their admiration. Whether it has to do with economics, health, or social issues, make sure that it’s clear that at the base of it all, you care.

5. Make others feel important

It’s not enough to post brilliant content. No. It’s not. It’s also important to ask for your readers involvement.

At the conclusion of your posts, ask readers if they have anything to offer on the subject, and be sure to respond to comments and threads. Take the time to appreciate it when an individual adds to the conversation.

6. Be yourself

Being authentic is a process that requires a lot self-examination, dedication, and hard work. But the rewards are immeasurable.You’ll never influence the world if you’re trying to be just like it.Try challenging yourself to always blog about topics from a different angle. Add your original point of view and experience to the topic you’re presenting.

7. Be humble

People are going to tune into what you are saying because of your intelligence, perspective, and ability to communicate. While confidence is key, you’ll hold other people’s attention longer by being humble and, from time to time, showing your audience that you’re human too.

Carnegie’s advice is to talk about your own mistakes before criticizing others. Nobody’s perfect, and you shouldn’t even try to pretend that you are. People don’t like a know-it-all either, so own up to your mistakes and be honest in showing that you don’t have all the answers.

8. Tell a story

People don’t want to be talked at. Rather, they prefer being entertained. Entertain your readers by telling them a story. Make them feel. Make them understand. Tell them stories of people who are more interesting than you, stories your readers will identify with.

In the words of Carnegie: “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

Become a better blogger

Even though we often feel overwhelmed by how fast the world seems to change, the truth is that human nature is still mostly the same.

You win friends and influence people by respecting them, making them feel important and cared for, and playing to their natural tendencies and desires.

What are your favorite tips for winning friends and influencing people in this brave new world?

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43 thoughts on “How to Win Friends and Influence People (As a Blogger)

  1. While I never supported Carnegie precisely for the idea that you should become someone else to please people, I just realized, thanks to your post, that all these principles are perfect for any other activity where you need people’s interest. Being someone else to attract people is wrong, tiring and pointless. Sooner or later you will slide back into being yourself. Besides, some people might just feel that you are faking your persona and wouldn’t come to you in the first place. But if you get out there to DO something for people you need to act based on certain principles, like the ones mentioned in the post.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Although I agree that pretending to be something that you aren’t isn’t a good approach, I took his book to be the guidelines for change. We are constantly changing regardless of whether we notice it or not, if we have an understanding of how to get where we want to be, we have a better chance of getting there.

      Liked by 4 people

  2. I like the points about being a positive voice. No one likes a whingey blogger. When I read a blog I want to be inspired, or impressed, or uplifted. I like thought-provoking posts, but not those that dwell on minor misery.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Great piece! Loved it! I’m thankful to know that my thoughts as concerns influencing people are not far fetched. As a teacher, I encourage my students to share a smile always & learn people’s names. That shows the character of valuing people as well as builds a lasting impression.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. That book was very very effective. It did EXACTLY what it said it would do: Make you friends and get people to listen to you. And, nothing in it was Earth-shaking or arcane… all things we should be doing anyway.


  5. While I disagree with so much of the book, which ultimately promotes a sense of being fake and becoming people pleaser, all these tips for blogging are perfect. Basically, give credit where it is due and be nice. I received ”How to Win Friends and Influence People” as a graduation present from one of my mom’s acquaintances. While I know she meant well, it was in direct relation to her previous observations that I did not have a lot of friends. I still, to this day, believe that it is better to have few friends by being yourself than many friends by being something that your are not. I believe the same with blogging. I may never be super popular and only share things for a few people that I know will enjoy the article, but those few matter more to me than obtaining a large number of followers.


  6. Caring for other people, whether online and offline is always a good way to win friends.

    I have read the book and found it very useful. I love the way you brought in the wisdom in that book to blogging. Superb analogy.

    Liked by 1 person

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