Great Blogging is a Conversation1 min read

Have you ever been on a date with someone who can’t stop talking about themselves?

You know the type. They go on and on about their plans for renovating the guest bedroom, battles with back spasms last weekend, or their latest accomplishments.

The topics are seemingly endless.

Along the way, you might pick up an interesting fact or two, but when you finally extract yourself from them, you feel annoyed (“That’s 30 minutes of my life I’ll never get back”) and maybe even angry (“The jerk never asked me about my family”).

And, yes, there is a blogging equivalent of that guy. That is, they breathlessly expound about themselves without actually addressing what’s in it for the reader.

So, how do you avoid being that guy?

It’s all about adopting the right mindset. When you’re working on new articles, take a step back and assume the role of a skeptical reader. Ask yourself: Why should such a person care about my words? How will my words make their life better or easier? What are the damn benefits?

This might seem like obvious advice. Not doing this is probably the number one reason your posts are not being commented on.

Keep on thing in mind: your readers don’t always care about what matters to you. They care about the things that matter to you and relate to them.

Communicating what matters to your readers will make your blogging much more effective — and ensure you never become that guy.


  1. So true. Being a new blogger, my aim is to blog about music and hope that the content delivers the same.

  2. That’s great advice. It’s easy to go down that road when you write because writing is, after all, a personal experience, but we should never get so self-absorbed to forget about the reader entirely.

  3. You know, I never even thought of this topic until now. Therefore it must link to the amount of likes and comments received. My like count has dropped over the past fortnight… could I have become… that guy??? 😳😜🤯

  4. I think also being involved in other people’s blogs and having little conversations all over the place enriches the experience for both you and the people that honour you by reading your work.

  5. Reblogged it. Short but to the point. Words of wisdom from Cristian, Thank you

  6. “It’s all about adopting the right mindset. When you’re working on new articles, take a step back and assume the role of a skeptical reader. Ask yourself: Why should such a person care about my words? How will my words make their life better or easier? What are the damn benefits?”

  7. Great tip. That’s is why I am intentional about not just leaving one or two words–but actually engaging in conversation thoughtfully responding in a way that adds value to the discussion.

    • Thank you, Kim.

      Well, the idea is that short comments don’t mean much. They take little time to write. You can also write them without having read the post itself. And then, it’s counterproductive, because no one is going to check your blog.

  8. Thanks for your advice! I’m still learning not become that guy!

  9. Excellent point to remember. Though like George R.R. Martin’s “Not a blog” I also believe in the value of a journal. I could put it longhand in a notebook but I’ll inevitably lose the notebook someday and the assorted observations therein… while on a blog, I can easily tag or read the titles to see how my month was at a glance.

    If my writing does not please a reader yet, that isn’t my problem. My blog is still my development space, my place for putting the imperfect. I feel like to do otherwise isn’t entirely genuine. People are very good at sniffing out insincerity in writing in today’s social-media saturated landscape and they appreciate candor and honesty.

    • But readers also want something that adds value to their lives, or simply entertains them. It’s a balancing act. If you do not care about readers, you do not have a blog. You have journal that you could write on Google Docs or whatever if you are afraid of losing your words. Regardless, the truth is that if you are on a public platform, you must cater to what the public wants.

  10. I agree that providing benefits can be more effective in getting higher engagement. Not that I took this post personally, but those aren’t necessarily readers that I’m interested in catering to. I come from a sales background and know those people all too well. I am blogging for me, to write what I want. In my opinion, there is nothing worse than being surrounded by people, always wanting a benefit of some sort. I’m not about to let readers like that turn my blog into something that I hate expanding because I’m not being true to myself. I will continue to write about me, without focusing on the readers benefit. I am the only thing really motivating me. Again, I didn’t take this post personaly… Just had to get that off my chest.

  11. You’ve got a great sweet and to the point article here. To a point it is a great conversation. I believe it depends on what your blog is about. Are you there to entertain readers with stories from your life that maybe folks could relate to? Are you, like yourself here to be informative on a certain topic? I know this is going to sound self absorbed, but it has taken me awhile to figure out what it is that I wanted to write about and to find my voice. Blogging to me has changed since I had my last blog in 2010. What I mean by this is that we have become less engaged to comment. If we like something we just hit the like button to show our approval. I am guilty for that too. It is easier to ask your audience in person to leave their comments below, visually hit the subscribe button and to make sure that they tap that bell too. At the same time are folks blogging less vs. vlogging more? It’s something I have noticed that the vlogs are more popular than folks finding the time to write great content on a blog. Let’s face the truth that a blog is a lot of work. Vlogging, I am not saying it is not as much work but you don’t have to worry about spelling errors, grammar use or worrying about people taking your words out of context. Nor do you have to worry about how your personality is coming through to folks who are stopping by to watch what you are talking about. In a lot of ways blogging is a one sided conversation.

  12. Great post! Thanks for sharing

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