The Concise Guide to Building Relationships with Other Bloggers

Contrary to what you might be inclined to believe, the web is not a safe haven for socially awkward individuals.

The fact that many bloggers struggle to get even one person to read their content means that they do not invest the time and energy into building relationships with other bloggers.

Because they don’t know how or because they think it does not matter.

Let me say this: talent alone is not enough. Lots of talented people died poor, sick, and alone precisely because they never thought of making friends with others doing what they were doing.

That being said, here are some things to keep in mind when interacting with fellow bloggers.

1. Be a giver, not a taker

In a world where most operate out of scarcity and are all “me, me, me” you stand out if you help other bloggers.

Yes, you do need to know when to say no, because some people will try to abuse your generosity, but never, ever, ever start your interaction with another blogger asking them to link to you, add you to their blogroll, etc – start by offering them something first.

P.S. This is the main reason folks who comment, “Please, can you take a look at my blog?” will be stuck at 57 followers for the rest of their lives.

2. Don’t expect too much too quick

Building rapport takes time. Building trust takes time.

Just as it happens in real life, if you rush, you’re going to alienate the other person.

3. Be direct, honest about what you want

If you want something out of the relationship – be honest about it.

After all, if you feel a bit sleazy, it’s not because it’s not nice to ask for favors, but probably because you can’t repay them, which means you shouldn’t be asking anything of them in the first place.

4. Slowly, very slowly work your way up

Try to interact with bloggers on your level, or who maybe have 50% more readers than you do.

If you try to approach folks who have 20-50 times your numbers, while you might get lucky, chances are they won’t be as responsive as those who are on the same level as you are.

5. Prove yourself first

If you’ve only been at it for a few weeks, you need to show others that you are in it for the long haul.

This is why they always say that patience is a virtue.

6. Be perseverant, but don’t become a mosquito

Some bloggers will take a few emails or conversations before they’ll warm up to you.

There’s a lot of noise around the blogosphere so don’t be offended if people don’t respond – try again in a little while – but try not to send them tons of e-mails and messages.

The art of being social is quite subtle, so I think it’s best to comment on their content, get them to reply, then try again, and all this makes it far more likely they will reply to your e-mail.

7. Get to (genuinely) know the other person

Most bloggers approach networking with obvious agendas and goals but fail to listen to the other party.

When you ask others about their goals and objectives, not only do you make a good impression, but you’ll be in a great position to know where your situation aligns with another person’s – this is where networking becomes most effective to both parties.

8. Know who you are and what you want

I get many emails every single day from folks who want me to promote their blogs, but they’re not sure why, what their blogs are even about,  or if it is all worth it.

Besides the fact that they are just into taking, they also explicitly tell me that even if I were to offer them my help, it still might not be worth it.

So… why even e-mail me?

9. Focus on building real relationships, not numbers

Make friends, not followers. Comment, don’t just like posts.

Some of the rules of the art of being social on the web.

Human interaction is where it’s all at, and a like from some unknown username is not going to elicit much of a response, but a comment? A genuine one? That’s going to make a much, much better impression.

10. Work on building a community.

What’s better than interacting one-on-one with other bloggers in your niche?

When you interact with more of them at the same time.

Of course, you could build a community, or you could join the conversation on Twitter/Facebook groups, but the principle remains the same: get social with more than one blogger at a time.


Friendly, free, and competent.

These are three words you should always keep in mind when interacting with folks online.

Try to be friendly and nice, do not impose, beg, threaten, or some other crazy stuff, and always show them that you are competent enough to be worth their time.

Now do you get it why begging others in the comments section to visit your blog is the worthless networking trick ever?

What part does networking with other bloggers play in your blogging? How do you go about it? 

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65 thoughts on “The Concise Guide to Building Relationships with Other Bloggers

  1. It seems to me that these are the most important of all blogging tips. A blog can be well-written with good content, but until the author interacts, people won’t even know it’s there.

    There’s a guy who comments on mine about once a month or so with, “Great post!” When I say thanks, he always follows up with, “Check my blog out when you have a chance.” I was already following his until he started doing that.

    Liked by 7 people

    1. And there’s so much possibility, so many things you can do once you like someone, and trust them, and folks stop at “great post.”

      But, well, we are all capable of experiencing millions of feelings and emotional states and we go through life experiencing the same 6 of them over and over.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Excellent ideas. When you do comment, try to provide more specific information than Great post! Sure I like the compliment, but why did you like the post? Was it the topic, the writing, the accompanying photo? In this post, I particularly liked 1. Be a giver, not a taker and 8. Know who you are and what you want. Love “After all, if you feel a bit sleazy, it’s not because it’s not nice to ask for favors, but probably because you can’t repay them, which means you shouldn’t be asking anything of them in the first place.”

    Liked by 5 people

  3. Really insightful. A simple principle, but something we tend to overlook regardless. I especially gravitated towards the part of interacting with bloggers within one’s niche. It makes sense. If you and your fellow writers are aiming toward promoting ideas in the same topic…then a voice in its collective would obviously harbour more strength in bringing the point across. Thank you for this.

    Liked by 5 people

  4. This article reminds me of a period in life when I was personally studying what “Obligation” means.
    There are rules we all innately understand, but we are often not conscious of them. The dynamics of Obligation are subtle, powerful and have unknown consequences/outcomes (good or bad) depending on how much effort one puts into assessing another’s needs and knowing, yourself, what you can bring to the relationship that has (“equal” is NOT a word that is reflective of how obligations are met) “Equivalent” value what is received and given back in return.
    Value is the operative word. As you say, in building relationships, we can figure that out.
    I’ve learned it’s much more important to understand, take stalk and foster my own gifts to offer in barter, for these I can continually fabricate naturally.
    I also find it is best practice to forgo offering anything outside of my personal ability. That is exhausting, and it ultimately is incredibly discouraging with no fault to anyone but myself. That said, if done, it is impacting to other people for which there is not much, if any, value seen by the other. If any consideration is given, it is “A for effort….” maybe. These are easily written off and forgotten.
    Thanks for the tips. Note taken!

    Liked by 5 people

  5. When I started my blog in 2012 and was very active until 2014, I remember i “met” a lot of people whom became friends, some just virtually, other even in real life. The same things happened with IG, before they changed the algorithms and everything was possible because of genuine interactions, posts, comments and not just likes.
    I truly think this is the way to expand the audience and the network and will lead to unexpected encounters but also possibilities and opportunities.
    Although, I have the feeling is more and more difficult to do it, people patience and level of attention is dropping to just a few seconds, don’t think the most of the people who like my posts actually read them. As the likes for likes on IG, or Fb.
    But i also believe that, if someone spent 5 or 10 minutes to write something to me it deserve my answer, no matter what.
    this is how you build connections…

    Liked by 9 people

    1. Hey Manuel (LOL)

      I’m a fairly active participant in other peoples’ blogs (if their topic of discourse peaks my passion).

      My biggest most hugest frustration is (take it for what it is) is taking time and effort to respond beyond the like and the “Good job…great, wow..(🤩😍🤩😍).” I’m fast thinking and can pound out a fairly long response relatively quickly. I will re-read it. What takes 15 minutes to compose, can be read in about 2.5 minutes. If I REALLY care about my response, I will spend 45 minutes editing, taking care of typos and addressing punctuation. “Reply” is hit. THAT response can take about 2 minutes to read.

      Often Crickets follow.

      But this is the nature of the beast. It’s ok. My focus is my own passion. It’s great to get acknowledgement. Yes, indeed. It feels GREAT! AND…Blogging is, also, a sort of voyeurism where we “FLASH” people about what ever is under the sun to present…sometimes very audaciously. Not everyone approves of flashers.

      Blogging aside, I’m even more loquacious in my normal life…in writing. Writing is an easier format for me to communicate…and document for posterity what I see, feel and my conclusions about both.

      As a nurse, it’s pretty important to get this down, for my profession is about human beings and my observations of them.

      It is the same for a blogger…I think. I do believe “Care” was brought up, and the success of a blogger is the same as a nurse. The degree and quality of “Care” that is put into ether determines success…or negligence. Ether is self evident in the body of the work done within the means towards the end [result].

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Hello there!
        I think it’s a kind a frustration we all have to face sometimes: truly we look for the people to like what we do, what we write, but when we open the socials and find hundreds of notifications we feel stressed that we “must” answer all of them.
        I mean, we don’t have to, but if we want to succeed in what we like to do, than answer becomes a MUST!
        We should be thankful someone we don’t even know spent some time of his/her life to read our post and then even comment it! And for how loch and how much effort our answer will take, I think it’s our duty.
        I gave you en example: last year I was solo crossing Apennines and alps in Italy, every day I posted on FB my daily report. And then I was answering every single comment people was writing to me and many of my followers loved that. And that builded a connection with many of them.

        And how nice and satisfying is to read that someone really cares about what we write or do?

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Exactly! “care” is important. I wonder if it is our care that we seek acknowledge for while the words we spend time writing are not seen as that care.?

        And this is likely the same motive in a responders…expression of care…EVEN IN OPPOSITION!

        I love what you said.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Great advice. One of the reasons I gave up on music was that I felt everyone was looking out for themselves but had no real interest in connecting with others. And those that did, were more about following for a follow back. I tend to only connect with other writers if we share the same interests or I like their work. I was glad when you follow my blog because I’m enjoying yours.

    Liked by 4 people

  7. It has only been a day since I started blogging and I have been very nervous about it. I took a lot to time searching for ways to make my blog more effective. This was exactly what I needed. I love the idea that you put, about wanting to create a community and also about giving more rather than just taking and taking!!! Thank you for your post ☺️☺️

    Liked by 9 people

    1. Thank you for reading! I am glad you stumbled upon this post one day after starting your blog. This means you’re not going to beg people to visit your blog or comment two words on a billion blog posts one after another…

      Like

  8. I haven’t even read through all the tips yet, (have to leave in just a minute) but so far this is great advice! Thank you for the advice. I’m very new at this so I appreciate any advice someone with experience has to offer. Thank you so much for sharing!

    Liked by 3 people

  9. This is all good advice. Put out what you want to share with people without asking for anything in return. That’s your post. Their comments ideally will be from their hearts and minds in response to what you shared. A sharing of information or a reaction to what you have shared, not a request for you to do something for them. Unless they are asking for more of what you have shared, to share more deeply, sincerely. An exchange of information and thoughts between the two of you is real communication and is the best connection between a blogger and a visitor who may then become a follower or a friend. It’s the exchange back and forth that creates the connection between the two of you with neither of you asking for anything of the other. Both of you sharing. Idyllic.

    Liked by 3 people

  10. This is such a valuable post. I’ve started to interact with other bloggers, and you’re right: just like a picture is sometimes worth a thousand words, a comment is worth a bunch of nameless likes!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. It’s exactly the same thing one would do in “real life.” Can’t walk up to stranger and tell them you love them or ask them to kiss you…

      You can even ask them for a big favor, because the answer will be no.

      I am astonished people think this is okay on the web though.

      Like

      1. I suppose you could do that, but you’d only have one attempt. lol

        Most people I know that have built successful businesses regardless of the type, always go on about the connections they have developed with people over the YEARS, not days or weeks.

        Some of the connections and relationships are with customers, other with those in the same line of work and many just with other business people. The point is, the focus was never entirely on what people could do for them, but how we could connect and grow to enrich each other.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Exactly.

        But most people don’t have that kind of patience, and this also means they do not have a proper strategy, and thus they give up or simply stop giving a damn about their blogs.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. So many of your posts on relationships relating to blogging are also important in face-to-face interactions. Recently I responded to someone asking the question, “How can I get more friends? My response, “Be a friend!”

    Thanks for your expertise and help with this blogging thing. It is rewarding but also frustrating but your info gives us hope.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Thank you so much, Melissa!

      No reason to feel anxious though.

      Blogging is a process. There’s a learning curve to it. You can become better, and it takes a while to become better. This is what makes it worthwhile.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. This blog post is pretty much what i needed, thank you! 😊 I used to blog before but only wrote for myself, now this time I really want to share my stories, so these will be of great help. More power to you and your blog 🙏

    Liked by 2 people

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